"I'm Feeling a Bit Knackered"

'Knackered' means 'tired' and I sense some knackered-ness from a lot of the Americans. Like Ashland, Ormskirk is a small town and after a month of being here and exploring the streets relentlessly for new surprises, I feel as though I've seen it all. Unlike Ashland, however, Ormskirk does boast stores other than Wal-Mart and Goodwill for clothing options and has many unique pubs and restaurants to try new foods with the good company of close friends. Even on excursions to Liverpool, I look at my friends' faces and don't see the same excitement that was present whence we first set foot in that bustling city. I guess anything can become too familiar--even life in England.

I keep trying to re-energize and remind myself that I am in England and I have been waiting to come here for two years. I'm living in the most picturesque town imaginable and am extremely close to castles, rich farmland, and beautiful English countryside. I truly feel blessed to be here. There are times, however, when the mental bin of activities runs dry and it doesn't feel like I'm in another country.

The nights are starting to become very similar with my friends and I looking at one another asking, "Well, what do you want to do? I don't care, whatever you want to do," which then turns into the same cyclical conversation over and over again. Days blur into weeks and jam into what is my study abroad 'experience.' I'm not sure exactly what I'm experiencing anymore, but I feel like there is more to come. I know I've learned a lot about myself as far as living habits go, and I'm definitely a more independent person; however, I feel like I'm missing something. Part of my time here is spent traveling, meeting great new people, and trying new foods from strange folk. But the other part, the more depressing perspective of my trip, has turned boring—for lack of a better term. These valleys don't outweigh the highs that my new experiences have brought, but they inevitably find their way into my days. When I left a month ago, I never expected to be bored. I actually envisioned myself being entertained by my 'homework' and reading, studying, researching. It's not as fun as I had romanticized and I don't really crave journeying to the library. I like the idea of sitting in a library, reading, sipping on a cappuccino, and jamming out to my iPod like a real uni student. But, I haven't yet been able to fulfill that vision. Someday I'll be cool enough for that. For now though, I'm still a nerd who finds herself procrastinating, falling asleep in her bed trying to read just one more chapter for her literature 1000 course. It's not a hard or uninteresting read, I just feel like I should be doing more exciting activities…or napping.

That's just what has been on my mind recently.

Yesterday, my friend Chuck and I traveled to Southport to see a new city and meet some new people. Southport is a seaside town with a very beautiful, nostalgic carousel and arcade that reminded me of photographs I've seen of Coney Island. The first part of the day was sunny and windy and then the afternoon was rainy and windy. The weather here fluctuates by the half-hour, but it keeps things interesting. We mainly went shopping for Halloween costumes--in England, dressing up in costume is called 'fancy dress.' Chuck and I also went to a little shop for a late breakfast. Eating healthily, of course, I ordered hot chocolate and an eclair. My friend ordered a Belgian waffle with vanilla ice cream. We laughed so hard when the waitress brought out the 'waffle' because it was about as thick as a pancake and the size of a floppy disk. It was a good thing he ordered ice cream or he would have been eating a cracker of fried dough for breakfast. At least he got his dairy in for the day. It was even funnier because my eclair was the size of a foot long hot dog and doubly filled with custard creme. Needless to say, I shared with him and we were laughing about our breakfast throughout the day.

Thanks to all who have been reading this blog and commenting. I appreciate it!

Peace.