One

For a year now (and one more week), Jackson has been "one" technically.  But the difference between a 12-month-old and a 23-month-old--who are both in the one-year-old bracket--is immense.  So throughout the past year, I have only said that Jackson was 'one' about two or three times; most of the time, I responded to people's questions of his age with, "He's x-months-old."

But now that year is coming to an end and he will be two in a little over a week.  And it's just now hitting me that I will never be able to say that my little boy is "one" ever again.  I have even found myself saying, "He's nearly two," recently as if I am wishing away these last few weeks.

I don't remember getting emotional at all when he turned one.  I think it was because he was just beginning to walk, only knew how to say "Mommy" and "Daddy," and was still dependent on us for using a utensil to eat food.  Even though he was turning a year older, I still felt that I had my baby around for a while longer.

I didn't think I would be a sentimental mom about things like birthdays and turning another year older; however, to see that little munchkin who was once my tiny little baby doll approaching true boyhood, creating his own story lines at nursery, it is quite heart wrenching when I take the time to reflect on the last year as a whole.  Jackson has grown from a toddling, wide-eyed, little bambino into a racing, bold, strapping young lad.  The baby years are officially behind us and that's what makes this birthday so difficult to face.

So for the next week, Jackson will be "one" and I will be thankful for the remaining times that I get to say this.

Happy Chappy

Playing outside at his great grandpa's house

Picking his first apple in Grandpa Don's orchard.  We got permission first and it was a learning curve at the beginning because Jackson thought he was supposed to pick the leaves off instead of the apples.

Without any hesitation, Jackson took a bite of his apple right off the tree!  Although I didn't think this was very safe, he seems to be all right.

Jackson and his older cousin, Connor, playing with monster trucks

Developmental updates:  Jackson is counting now and can say his numbers one through ten, but still needs some prompting as to which one comes next.  He can even count backwards from three to one and then say, "Blast off!"  We are noticing that Jackson is listening better to directions and cooperates with us much more during the morning routines.  He is still unsure about being left at nursery in the mornings, but three times this week, he did not want to stop playing at the end of the day so I think that's a good sign.  Jackson seems to love the bigger play space and mingling with the older children.

If you see Sammie Miles Davis, Jr. and Bella, give them my love.

Loving Every Day

On the radio Thursday, a clothing designer was talking about the feedback he gets at the end of his fashion shows.  He said that when he used to walk out, he would hear floods of applause and let the praise sink in, savouring the moment.  But now, at the end of his shows, it is completely silent (but well-lit by mobile devices) because everyone is holding up their phones, recording the finale.  He went on to say that even in art museums, spectators take a photo of a piece of art, move on to the next one, take another photo, and repeat whereas they used to look, wait, stare, look closer, possibly have an emotional reaction to the artwork, and then move on.

And I thought how true this was in my life and how much I have changed in the past ten years since the dawning of Facebook and the emergence of Youtube and other media sites.  I do find myself now just snapping photographs as fast as I can--even taking panoramic shots to capture my entire surroundings--so that I can load them on my computer and review them later.  But, I never do.  They just sit in the invisible land of the Internet, which I trust to hold all of my memories.  I hardly ever print them out to share with friends who visit or display lovingly in my home.  The last time I made a real photo album was 2006; now, the only albums I possess exclusively exist on screens.  Furthermore, reflecting on the fashion designer's comments:  I only half-listened to what he was saying because I knew that I could listen to the conversation online later--but I haven't and I probably won't.

Sadly, my great-aunt recently passed away and her funeral was on Friday.  She was one of the nicest, funniest, most lovable little ladies I ever knew.  And she was little standing sweetly at only 4' 10".  My Aunt Diane never failed to send me a birthday, Christmas, or anniversary card even when I moved away to England.  Every Christmas, she made her own chex mix and my first Christmas here, she sent a huge bag of it.  Her other holiday specialty was peanut butter fudge made using marshmallow fluff.  Aunt Diane's house was always immaculate and although the decorations never changed at least for 30 years, I appreciated the pristine cleanliness and how house-proud she was.  Also, for at least 30 years, she always wore the same perfume and it became her scent.  It was so sweet yet strong and I told her every time I saw her that I loved it.  She never wasted a day and set a great example for how to live life to the fullest.

My adorable little aunt died from cancer.  Stupid cancer.  She was so hard-working and always had at least three jobs at once.  It's so unfair that someone so special and pure and good can be taken by something that just sneaks its way into the body and attacks and ruins everything.

The last time I saw her was in August back in Ohio.  I wish I would have spent more time with her.  My Aunt Diane was the last link to someone who grew-up with my grandma--who passed away when I was seven.  I wish I would have asked more questions about her childhood, gathered more stories about her past, and taken any life advice she learned along the way.  I didn't want to put a strain on her, making her recount things that maybe she didn't want to talk about; but, now I wish that I would have just asked.

With these new reflections, I hope to take more in from each moment and to pass along the old ways of experiencing life (pre-social media) to Jackson.  Saying something funny to get a smile out of someone else, or even looking someone right in the eye, catching the full-of-life glint that you can't see through a lens.

Pre-game chat

The new technique of carrying a ball and dribbling one at the same time.  So inventive!

Throw-in from the sidelines

Tuckered out after practice

A lovely English stroll through the village--and, Jackson being the coolest again.

Developmental updates:  Jackson's new word of the week was 'okay.'  I think he has said it before, but now he is using it to respond to questions of, "Are you okay?" and in the context of agreeing to do something like if I ask him to bring me his bottle.  He has also started saying, "Oh rats," more frequently and with great expression when he drops a toy or his 'choo choo' comes off the track.  We noticed a big improvement in his soccer (football) skills yesterday at his practice and he even tried to position himself next to the coaches as if he was instructing all of the other children.  When they got in a circle, he sat right beside the coach and laughed at everything he said, copying all of his actions.  During the second circle time, he did a dance in the middle and then started some sort of soul train, swerving in and out of the parents along the circumference.  Other than that, he also showed impressive dribbling skills and good control of the ball--for a nearly two-year-old.

If you see Sammie Miles Davis, Jr. and Bella, give them my love.