Know When to Hold 'Em, Know When to Fold 'Em

In middle school, I was an avid Dr. Phil watcher and if I wasn't going to play rehearsals or basketball practice, then I was usually doing my homework with Dr. Phil McGraw giving his advice in the background.  Knowing that I would most likely be a mom someday, I stored-up the parenting tips he offered and knew that in the future, they might come in handy.

Once he told a story about his wife, Robin, going grocery shopping and on her way to the check-out with a cart full of food, her son had a huge temper tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted.  Instead of pushing through the screaming and crying in order to finish her shopping, she left the cart in the middle of the store and went home.

Even though I avoid the grocery store by ordering my weekly shopping online, toddlers can have temper tantrums anywhere.  I was beginning to think that our little Jackson would never make such a public disruption of the peace, but alas, the time had come today.

This weekend is the Southport Festival, which if I hadn't seen a billboard advertising it, I wouldn't have known anything special was going on this weekend in town.  I looked at the upcoming events earlier this week online and saw that today there would be a "music gig for children" at one o'clock.  Knowing that Jackson loves to dance and seems to be entertained by live music (at least when we've encountered it by chance before), I bought tickets for our little family to go enjoy a live concert.  I had high hopes of Jackson dancing along to the beat and maybe even trying to sing along as we've been working on singing different pitches during our long car rides to and from school.  Then, if he really liked the music, we would buy a CD on the way out and maybe even get the singer to autograph the album!

We headed to the show at about ten til one so that Jackson wouldn't have to wait too long in a seat.  With our tickets in hand and within about fifteen feet of the usher, a family of five with Bohemian, flowing pants on, nearly knocked us down so they could get to the usher first.  Poor little Jackson, thinking that he needed to join the running stampede, trotted alongside the youngest child of the vagabonds up to the ticket-taker.  The parents both very loudly announced, "HE'S NOT WITH US!"  (Yes, our tiny toddler is trying to get into a £3 show for free by sneaking in with your bolting brood.)  This annoying scene should have been our foreshadowing that something was stirring in the air and we should turn back.

Some pleasant background music was playing to serve as an overture to the singer's repertoire and Jackson took this opportunity to go straight to the stage (which was a cleared space in the library with chairs set-up in a semi-circle around it).  He did his spinning moves and classic baby bounce and then returned to his seat, all the while holding his milk bottle.

With about two minutes to go until show time, Jackson wanted to leave.  Usually if we let him roam and explore where he wants to go, then he settles down and joins in with what everyone else is doing eventually.  But by the singer's first song, we didn't seem to be winning the battle this time.  The screaming and crying and throwing of himself on the floor were disrupting the show and echoing throughout the Cathedral ceilings up the winding staircase.  Milk, snacks, and even offerings of chocolate didn't work to calm Jackson down.  We were at a loss of what to do so we had to abandon the show and leave by the third song.  Of course as soon as we stepped out of the building, everything was hunky-dory again without a tear in sight.

After much discussion about what went wrong, our theories are that Jackson didn't care for the music or that he didn't want to share the stage.  We will never know the true problem that sent Jackson into such a state, but we are happy that we decided not to force the situation--and we bet the other patrons are, too.

2017 Family Photo--it was a bit trickier this year as Jackson can walk and run now

Jackson meeting a cow and talking to it with his 'moo' sounds

A miniature railroad that leads to a secret stop on the farm

Jackson was embracing the wind at Windmill Farm

Windmill Farm trip 2017

We got our own little carriage on the miniature train!

Lots of adventures to be had down on the farm.  There were little tractors that Jackson could ride along by walking his feet on the ground, but he wanted to ride the pedal-powered tractors like the big kids.

Today Jackson had his first haircut from a professional.  I asked for the 'Prince George' when the lady asked how I wanted it done.  He was calm and patient until about the last five minutes; then it was total meltdown mode.  The hairdresser was really nice and helpful with the whole experience and we managed to distract him with some glittery trinkets and nail varnish in the window for just enough time at the end so she could complete her final snips.

Developmental updates:  Jackson turned 19-months-old on Thursday.  He likes walking himself out of nursery to the car, with his coat draped over one arm and a milk bottle in the other.  If I try to hold his hand, then Jackson will hang on if he feels out of his depth, but for the most part, he wants to be independent while we walk together.  During our car rides, I've been singing simple patterns of vowel sounds with varied pitches and Jackson repeats them back to me.  (His low notes are the cutest because they aren't that low, but I can hear him trying his best to lower his baby voice.)  Jackson's new animal noises are howling for a wolf and 'cock-a-doodle-do' for a rooster.

If you see Sammie Miles Davis, Jr. and Bella, give them my love.

Speedsters

In England this week, the punishments were intensified for not driving under the speed limit.  There are speed cameras galore where we live in Southport (the average speed limit around us for miles is 25 mph).  But on three of the long stretches of road that Jackson and I travel on every day in order for us to get to school have a speed limit of 70 mph--which means that many people drive 80 or more--yet there are no speed cameras to be found in these areas.

One road had a speed limit of 70 until Friday when the new signs must have been installed over night.  Either way, there were multiple signs warning drivers of the new speed limit and 'repeater signs' for the entire two-mile stretch.  I had sixteen cars pass me and when the dust cleared, there was no one left behind me on the road.  And, the people who overtook were nowhere to be seen after a minute or so.  Maybe they didn't hear about the new sanctions for speeding?

Here is what will happen for drivers who are caught going at least one to ten mph over the speed limit:  a Band A fine and 3 points on the driver's licence.
For those who are caught driving 11 to 20 mph over the posted speed limit:  a Band B fine and either 7-28 days of disqualification or 4-6 points on the driver's licence.
And for drivers travelling 21+ mph above the speed limit, they will receive a Band C fine and either 7-56 days of disqualification or 6 points on their licence.
The maximum fine anyone can ever pay for one offence is £1,000, and it is £2,500 if on a motorway.
(Band A=25-75% of weekly income; Band B=75-125% of weekly income; and Band C=125-175%)*

I know that it can be annoying sometimes to drive right on the speed limit.  For instance, we have a downhill drive leading to our village on the last stretch home and I have to brake the entire way down the hill to keep the speedometer on 20.  The other annoying part of following the speed limits is having other drivers ride too closely behind in an attempt to make me speed.  If they only knew me, then they'd know this is a lost cause.

Hopefully the majority of drivers will begin adhering to the speed limits for fear of the harsher fines.  And hopefully the police will be firm in enforcing the law because although the changes are new, those sixteen cars that passed me and going at least 65 in a 50 didn't seem to have any respect for the rules of the road.

Doing his best Tom Hanks impression

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us."

"Draw!"

Dancing at the outdoor food fair in New Brighton and cheering at the end of every song.  He brought a smile to all of the concert-goers' faces.

Developmental updates:  Jackson can point to his eyes, ears, nose, mouth, toes, belly, belly button, and head accurately and is starting to pronounce all of these words, too.  His other new words of the week are ball, door, more, and bowl.  Jackson seems to have a close bond with the other little 'lads' at nursery because Jackson tripped and fell this week and all of the boys apparently huddled around him and took turns giving him hugs to make him feel better.  (It's amazing to me how at such a young age these babies can be so sympathetic.)  We have been noticing that Jackson likes to play while holding onto a toy or other object.  For instance, today we went to New Brighton to an indoor play zone called Bubbles.  Jackson was climbing up ramps, going down slides, and bouncing through the ball pit all the while holding onto a spongy ball that he found in the big kids' area.  The other day, in the backyard, Jackson picked up a stone and carried it with him while he played on his climbing frame.  Holding onto these things obviously made his play more difficult, but he insists on carrying something while exploring.

If you see Sammie Miles Davis, Jr. and Bella, give them my love.

*Information gathered from www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk

Feedback

I can only remember three times that I was ever given 'constructive criticism' in elementary (primary) school.

The first time was in preschool:  I was being bossy and tried taking away the napkin distribution responsibility from a boy named Derrick.  I was five-years-old and I remembered being put in my place from that day forward.  I learned that I should share and that other people are fully capable of doing the classroom jobs--I didn't have to do everything.

The second time was in kindergarten:  I was six-years-old now and tried to be 'cool.'  A staff member knocked on our door and Mrs. Fulk answered the door and got into a quite lengthy conversation with her colleague.  The entire class--other than my best friend, Dee--got out of their seats and roamed about, playing with toys, running, and talking loudly.  I waited with Dee until I thought, "We can't all get into trouble," so I got up and joined everyone else to have fun.  When Mrs. Fulk finished her conversation and turned around, she was pretty furious with the class and ordered, "Anyone who is out of their seat, pull a stick."  This meant that we were going to have to 'stand on the wall' while the rest of the class got to enjoy their recess for one day.  Other than learning that being cool was not my forte, I learned to respect the classroom setting.

The third time was in second grade:  Now a mature eight-year-old who knew her place and respected the classroom environment, I thought I had everything figured out.  My handwriting was an issue with a certain capital J, apparently.  I liked to put a horizontal line at the tops of my Js and my teacher would rather have a capital J sans topper.  I continued to cross my Js until around Christmastime of that school year when I was fed-up of having points deducted every time I wrote a capital J.  That year, I learned that my strong will and conviction may have to be set aside to appease the people in charge (and that not everything is worth fighting over).

The approach for guiding my academic success back in good ole Ohio must have been shaped through whole class teaching and positive reinforcement when I did something well.  Writing tasks were usually given more notes and feedback, but usually my assignments received a letter or number (out of three) grade.  If I got an A or a 3, then I got the picture:  I did well.  Anything less than that, then I also got the picture:  try harder next time.

In England, it's a little different.  From the age of four, children are expected to go to school for a full day and begin reading, writing, and arithmetic from day one.  When I became a teacher here, I was expected to make children re-write any misspellings of words displayed on the board three times each and correct every missing capital letter or punctuation mark in all subjects.  On top of this, for every third piece of work, even if a child submitted a perfect piece of work, he or she was given the assignment back to complete a challenge (extra credit) because apparently the task was too easy for them.  So it's similar to my experience of getting corrected for my capital J a few times when I was eight-years-old, but instead hearing about it nine times a day, every day, from the age of four.

Since I've had Jackson, I know that I have become a more caring and understanding teacher who critiques with an Ohio-style approach.  I'll admit that if someone gets something perfect, then I praise them and instead of making them do more work, I change my plans and give them a slightly more challenging activity for the next lesson.  Guilty!  I also do not make the seven-year-old children that I teach correct every misspelling or every missing capital letter; instead, I plan for time to practise these skills.  Guilty, again!

Having made it two-thirds of the way through the year, I have seen no detrimental effects to teaching this way and giving feedback in my 'new' (old Ohio) way.  So, for at least one of their twelve years or more of schooling, I hope to give my students a respite from the endless torment of corrections and feeling like they did something wrong.

Celebrating Easter at his Great-Grandpa's house

Our little Sweetie Pie with his new Easter bunny

Opening presents from the Easter Bunny

He found his way into his first Cadbury Creme Egg

His best solution to collecting all of the eggs on his hunt around the house

Jackson's reply to hearing about the over-crowding on United Airlines

Exploring the sheds at Dobbies Garden Centre

Developmental updates:  This week, Jackson has amazed us with his building animal sound and word repertoire.  Today, he said a sentence:  "Go away, Dad."  We were at a garden centre and he was trying to explore the playhouse displays uninhibited.  He can hiss like a snake, bark like a dog, quack like a duck, and moo like a cow.  His other sound effects are beep and vroom for cars and choo choo for trains.  Jackson can also say shoes (sounds like "whose"), daddy, mama, yes, no, bottle (sounds like "bup").  To communicate that it's windy, he also reaches up to swirl his hair around.  Other than these new words and sounds, Jackson has become more affectionate towards us and is giving us more hugs and kisses.  From his nursery teachers, we found out that he cried at the end of We're Going on a Bear Hunt so they had to read it again.  We love our little bibliophile!

If you see Sammie Miles Davis, Jr. and Bella, give them my love.